Things always happened without any anticipation

...what happened at that night was really scared. I don’t cry in front of friends for a long time, but last night, I did. It happened all of a sudden...I just didn’t ever anticipate that I’ll cry because of telling the truth. How can I face the nightmare once again. I choose to escape at the meantime, even I know things will go worse if I keep the secret longer and longer. My dear friends tried to convince me to let others know...but I can’t. Shut down Facebook is the most straight forward way I can comfort myself...even though still many problems needed to overcome.

What I really want is to pretend as nothing happen, and then back to Facebook quietly. "How about if the same problem comes up again"...I still can't find the answer. I get lost in Facebook, still I wanna go back. How much effort I've paid and how struggle I am to be a normal person...maybe others can never discover. Reality shows me the way I tried seems to be wrong actually.

How come I treat one photo and those weird comments and feedbacks in a so-extreme way...how come I can't turn it down...how come they can ruin my confidence totally. Being a normal person as same as other is my only wish.

I am so afraid. I see the ultimate is not far from me.